Head Spin

I have been entertaining ideas in my head for so long I think they have taken up permanent residence.  It is a goal of mine (and everyone I've ever met) to take these ideas to the next level and act on them.  Why then is it so hard?  I think I can answer that question by explaining why I love paper, but hate to write on it.  I have a thing for new journals, notepads, sticky notes etc.  I love the feel of a new book or journal. I love the idea of what could possibly be written down in those blank clean pages.  The problem with actually using the journals begins at the very moment I put the pen to the paper. What if I choose wrong?  What if I start using it for one purpose and then discover part way through that these words end before the pages, or what if I think of a better plan? Prebound papers can't be shifted.  I know it is crazy and not a very rational thought process, but it keeps the words in my head, spinning around like horses on a merry go round who never get off.  I've started writing in books before, have never finished the pages...I have always gotten sidetracked by my job, bills, the kids, the cleaning.  The pages have been left in drawers that will someday be discovered by someone wondering who the lunatic author of these unfinished stories was. 

I think that is what is happening in my head again right now.  I have a great idea for a series of books I want to write to help begining readers. I have tech stuff in my head that I want to share with other beginning integrationisits and teachers who are new on the tech journey...just thought of a new blog with that thought.....see what I mean?  and I have a personal story that is trying so hard to be formulated, and started while it is newly happening that I just can't wrap my head around everything.  It is spinning.  What will come from it?